Today was an emotional day. Left 4 weeks of fyp and I still haven’t done with it. I started to be fearful about my future. What am I going to do after graduation? I wanted to work, but which department? I don’t want to work as a programmer, I can’t do it, programming just makes me irritated & depress. I told myself that God place me in NYP – MIT for a reason, I know God place me in programming there’s a reason too. But I just doesn’t know why till now. I just dislike programming, I still don’t understand why am I doing things that I doesn’t like. It’s so tough. I’m really fearful of my future. Totally clueless, being depressed, upset, cry doesn’t help to solve everything, I just wish I didn’t grow up or I’m with God in heaven now. This world is really cruel & scary, God I need your peace, joy, love now. I can’t take it any longer.
